Black Holes of Strawberry
by siriusly klutzy
Summary: Lily complains to Alice about James Potter's messy black hair.
1. Chapter 1

**Summary: Lily complains to Alice about James Potter's messy black hair.**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing.**

**Black Holes of Strawberry**

a Siriusly Klutzy story

"It's so annoying," I mumbled as I played with my food at dinner on Wednesday night. My mashed potatoes looked more mashed than should be natural because I fidgeted with my fork too much.

Alice looked at me, then to my potatoes.

"Him again?"

I nodded with a sigh.

It was so hopeless, how pathetic I could be. And this time it wasn't even _logical_. Sure, the first time it was his eyes. That time was completely understood. He has nice eyes, they're brown but in the sunlight it looks like there are little flecks of gold and sometimes _blue_. I might have just imagined it that day, it was extremely hot outside, but they were nice while I saw them.

The second time, it was his smile. It's not common to have boys here with nice teeth, but it was like his were just _perfect_. And he comes from a pure blood family so it's not like he could have had braces or anything.

The third time, it was his bum that had me distracted while I should have been doing my homework. That time, however, I got caught and it was one of the most embarrassing days of my life. There's nothing like having Sirius Black point it out to the whole Common Room.

Now? Now it's his _hair_. It's messy, black, and long. Not extremely long, like Sirius's. It's just long enough. Perfectly long. Perfect like his perfect eyes, teeth, and bum.

_Ugh_.

"Lily, you really need to do something about this," Alice said. She looked at my with a sympathetic smile. "It's pathetic. You're hopeless. You're more or less in _love_. There's no way out. You _fell _for him. You fell hard and _fast_."

Leave it to Alice to be kind to me in my time of desperation.

"I wouldn't say I fell _fast_."

Alice nodded. "I guess it _did _take you six years."

"But look at his hair!" I sighed when I saw it.

"It's sucking you in, Lily. Again." I ignored her. "Like a black hole. Lils, you're being sucked into a black hole. Of James Potter's hair. Something just doesn't seem right about that. It is kind of odd when his hair starts controlling you."

This got my attention. I snapped up and looked at her.

"You stare off at Frank all the time."

"That's different," she said with a shrug.

"How so?"

"I'm dating Frank and you're pining for Potter."

I opened my mouth to retort but came out with nothing.

Alice smiled smugly at me. "I told you so."

I glared at her and continued to poke at my potatoes with the occasional glance up at James.

Here is a secret: I know that every time he runs his nice hands through his lovely hair, I say I find it annoying. But I really find it sexy.

Alice, of course, knew this from the start but just to humor me, she agreed with me.

It was really annoying when I finally decided to admit this to her and she just laughed and said, "I know."

You'd think I'd have at least _one _secret. But no. Not with Alice around. I tell that girl too much.

"You're going to go talk to him, right?" she asked me a couple minutes later.

"NO!" I said, appalled at the thought. "Of _course_ not!"

She looked at me, startled.

"Well, why not?"

"I can't just go _talk _to him. I wouldn't even know how to start the conversation!"

"Of course you would. Here, I'll demonstrate. You be James and I'll be you, alright?"

I looked at her curiously for a second but nodded."

"Okay, here is me being you. Hello, James. Lovely weather we're having, isn't it? By the way, I'm absolutely in love with your hair. What kind of conditioner do you use?"

"ALICE!" I said. I covered my face with my hands, absolutely mortified.

"_What_? It'd be a great conversation starter!"

Oh Merlin.

"I'm not going to use that as a conversation starter! He'd think I was off my rocker!"

"He caught you staring at his bum. He _already_ thinks you're off your rocker!"

I grumbled and looked back at my plate.

"You're not helping at all."

"Well, if you would have just followed my rules."

"Alice, there's no way I was going declare my love for his _hair_!"

"Maybe he'd think it was attractive that you had the nerve to go say that."

"Alice, shut up."

She shrugged and went down to her plate once more.

Though, it would be a conversation starter. I could ask him what kind of conditioner he uses and he'd tell me. Then I'd tell him what kind I used and we could have a full blown-

_What_ am I saying? It's completely illogical.

Though I bet it smells like strawberries. He always smells like strawberries.

"You're still thinking about him aren't you?" she asked.

"Actually, I was thinking about fruit," I said as I hid my smirk.

There's no way that could relate to anything we just talked about. I mean, Alice doesn't go around smelling James, does she?

"The fruit that happens to smell like James's head?"

Of _course_ she knew.

"That would be the one," I admitted with a grin.

She just smiled and shook her head.

I laughed and was going to continue to mash up the rest of my already mashed potatoes when a shadow cast over me. I turned around, expecting to see Marlene maybe, or even Remus.

Not James, but that was who it was.

"Hey, Lily," he said. He was holding a bowl. "I was wondering if you got the answer to number fifteen of the Charms homework?" But I wasn't paying attention to a word he was saying. I wasn't even looking at his hair. I was completely concentrated on the bowl in his hands (his nice hands, I mentioned this earlier). Because do you know what was in that bowl?

_Strawberries._

He saw how fixated I was on that bowl.

Alice was trying not to laugh noticeably next to me. It wasn't working all that well.

"Uh, Lily?" I blinked back to reality and looked up at him into those nice brown, gold, and blue eyes. He grinned, showing off his nice teeth. (I'm not sure how I remained conscious at this point.) "Do you want one?" he asked. He held the bowl out to me.

I blushed. "Not exactly."

**A/n: 26 down, 4 more to go. Yay! Okay, so yeah, I haven't been able to write anything recently. The computer in my room has a ton of viruses (because I'm an idiot with computers) and I've been procrastinating a lot. But in reality, there's no excuse for excuses. So I'm sorry I haven't posted in a while. I hope you all don't hate me.**

**Anyway, reviews are encouraged! They make me happy. And they'll make me happier if I get a lot especially because I have a physics, history, and math test tomorrow and a presentation in Spanish. See, I sacrificed my studying time for you guys!**

**Much love and a nice boy with a bowl of strawberries just for you,**

**Siriusly Klutzy**


	2. The Insanity Continues

**Disclaimer: I own nothing.**

**Summary: A second chapter to strawberry obsessions. Neat, huh? Heh.**

**Chapter Two**

Ever since the strawberry incident, I've been in a frenzy over James Potter. How _ironic _is it that he just happened to be eating strawberries moments after I was having a fit about how he smelled like them? He does this to torture me, I swear.

Alice got a good laugh out of that one, though.

"Lily, you really should have seen your face!" she said to me after he left. "You were as red as the strawberries!"

She just _had _to point that out.

"Shut up, Alice. You know I was embarrassed beyond belief."

"I know, and it made my day."

The next day we were sitting in Charms, which isn't' as fun when you're not doing actual magic. Listening to Flitwick is only amusing at first but then it's just annoying. He likes to tell a lot of stories about his days in Charms School. He once told us a story about someone who stole his books and I don't even remember what happened but he ended up in a pile of feathers, which wasn't nearly as effective as it should have been because he levitated them away.

James found this story hysterical. He kept asking questions and I wanted to throw my shoe at him. This was before I realized that I'm hopeless and pathetic, of course.

Anyway, now whenever Flitwick tells these stories, I don't listen. Alice called me rude once but I got her back when I caught her writing a note to Frank. Serves her right.

So I did the only thing a normal person does in a boring class.

I doodled. It's very time consuming which is good, otherwise I'd have to listen about how his friend Albert won a prize for Brightest Charmed Trout...

I caught myself staring at his back.

James's back, not Flitwick's.

It really is a nice back, strong and well-defined.

Oh Gods.

I went back to my doodling, but when I looked down I was surprised at what I saw

Of _course_ I would doodle a strawberry. Alice will have a field day with this if I didn't get rid of it. I quickly shoved the humiliating evidence in my bag, which wasn't the smartest move on my part.

By dinner time I was starving, and craving strawberries.

I went in my bag to pull out my Charms book to see if there was anything in there about charming forks into strawberries. There are never any near my end of the table and there was no chance in hell I was going to go ask James for some.

"Hey, Lily," Alice said to me when she arrived. She bent over and picked up a piece of parchment that fell out of my bag before I realized what it was. "Are you _kidding _me, Lily?" She was laughing loudly now and holding the picture of the strawberry out, where anyone could see if they looked.

And with my luck, someone did.

"Strawberries," James called over to me, causing me to turn red once more and Alice to laugh even louder. "Another thing we have in common, eh Evans?"

I sunk low under the table.

"He's going to think I'm unhinged!" I said, snatching my doodle back. I really should learn to keep these things safer.

"He wouldn't if you would just talk to him!" Alice said. She sat down next to me. "It's not hard, Lily. I talked to Frank and I'm generally a shy person."

I looked at her skeptically.

"I'm going to be you again, okay? All you have to do is go up to him and say, 'Hello James. So we both like strawberries. That's lovely. We can run off and get married and have strawberry loving children! Sound like a plan?'" She grinned. "He'd probably agree, too," she added thoughtfully.

I turned redder.

"If we ever switched bodies, I'd be screwed."

Alice grinned. She piled food onto her plate.

I stared off at him again.

So not only does he smell like strawberries _and _eats them, he eats them sexily. Normal people eat them starting at the smaller end and eat the point off first, at least that's how I've seen most people eat them. He takes off the green part and bites a corner off of the edge of the big part. I've never seen someone do that before.

Gods, only James could make eating a strawberry sexy.

"Alice! Alice look, did you see?" I spun her to face James and pointed at him, very indiscreetly.

"I'm looking and I don't see anything special," she said, squinting in his direction now.

_How _could she not see that?

"Well then you aren't using your eyes correctly!"

"Oh yeah, I forgot that I had my ears turned on to act as my eyes." I grinned smugly at her. "Of course I am using my eyes correctly, you dolt! _You're_ just obsessed!"

I glared at her and she just smiled smugly.

Stupid Alice.

**A/n: Okay, now I bet not many of you were expecting this to turn into a chaptered story, now were you? Don't worry, this isn't going to count as one of the fanfics out of 30, so I'm still 26/30. This is just going to be a three-shot. So one more chapter left.**

**Thanks again to my friend who also was the one who wanted the Soda Pop story, she's just full of fantastical ideas. A round of applause?**

**Anyway, thanks for reading, I hope you liked this chapter (that's so weird to say, I'm so used to one-shots!)**

**Much love and health for the lot of you (I'm sick),**

**Siriusly Klutzy**


	3. Demonstrations

**Summary: Lily demonstrates to Alice how James eats his strawberries.**

**Chapter Three**

Alice didn't see how sexily James ate the strawberries so I had to show her. I ran down to lunch quickly and stole a bowl of strawberries from the Hufflepuff table. Managing to only bump into two people, one of which was Sirius who felt the need to tell me an elaborate and pointless story (which I completely forgot as I was trying to hide the strawberries, to keep from future humiliation, behind my back) and the other was Marlene who just wanted my Potions homework.

The Common Room was near empty, save three first years and a fourth year.

I darted passed them and into my dorm, dropping my bag on the ground.

After locking the door and charming it to stay so, I pulled a small stool over to the mirror on my dresser.

Within the first five minutes I realized that I liked strawberries _much _better when they were coated in chocolate.

Then I realized that eating strawberries sexily is a really hard job.

The first time I took too big of a bite. Okay, that's a lie. The first time I ate it my way because I _really _just wanted to eat a strawberry.

The second time I took too big of a bite and the third time I nibbled it like a rat. And that's not sexy, nor is it the way James eats his strawberries.

By the fourth time I just stuck the whole bloody thing in my mouth. It was so frustrating, damn James Potter.

By strawberry number eleven I wanted to puke.

By seventeen, there were strawberries coming out of ears. At least it felt like there would be soon if I didn't stop eating them.

At number twenty-one, basically, I had mastered the art of eating a strawberry as sexily as James.

I did two more just for practice when the door handle started to rattle. I looked at in shock.

"Hello? Is someone in there?" a voice said from behind it. I recognized that voice as Mary.

"Yes."

"Lily? Could you open the door? It's locked."

I looked at the bowl of strawberries and then back to the door.

"What for?"

Mary laughed. "Well, I need to get in!"

I remained quiet for a moment. "Can't it wait?"

"No! I've got to get my books for History."

"What's going on?" another voice said from the top of the stairs. It was Marlene.

"Lily's locked herself in there."

"What for?"

"I've no idea!"

"Come on, Lily! Let us in!" Marlene started knocking on the door.

"Can't you come back later?" I asked, searching for a place to stash the strawberries.

"NO!" they both shouted at me.

"Oi, Evans!" I heard Sirius call from downstairs. "What are you doing up there? Eating strawberries?"

Oh _Gods_! They _did _manage to get a working camera in here!

I started breathing quickly.

No, no, they couldn't have. They were just kidding, anyway. Sirius was just taking a wild guess. He doesn't _really_ know. He's just being Sirius.

I grabbed my bag and stuffed the bowl and the remaining two strawberries in it, hiding it beneath the sweater that I carried around. I uncharmed the door and ran out through the middle of Marlene and Mary who both gave me curious looks.

I ignored them and rushed over to Alice. She was sitting over by the window working on her Herbology homework.

Interrupting her, I said, "I've done it!"

She looked up at me. "Hey, Lily. What have you done now?"

"I've mastered the art of eating a strawberry like James! Now you can see why it's so sexy!"

"I don't _want_ to see why it's so sexy."

"Well, why _not_?" I asked.

"Because."

"But Alice, it really is gorgeous! It looks even better when he does it, of course, but I'm just demonstrating."

She sighed. "Get it over with, then."

I grinned and pulled the bowl out of my bag. Alice raised an eyebrow at me.

I held up the strawberry. "Now watch what I do with my lips, and where I bite it. See how I don't start at the bottom?" Alice was watching wide-eyed. "Alice, what are you doing? You didn't even see the..."

Oh Gods.

I followed her eyes over my shoulder to see James standing behind me with a smug look.

He was staring at me and the strawberry in my hand.

I closed my eyes, hoping to wake up back in bed this morning.

Nope. It didn't work.

James just continued to grin smugly at me.

"Oh Gods," I mumbled. I started biting my lip.

It tasted like strawberries.

Behind James stood Sirius and Remus. "Did Prongs just fall in love with himself?" Sirius asked Remus.

"It was either him, or Lily again."

"Oh."

"Does that surprise you?"

"Not at all."

Alice was trying to keep a straight face.

This was when I realized that I should have been practicing my apparation instead of eating strawberries as sexily as James. I wouldn't even be in this mess.

"Evans," James said to me with a smirk.

I looked up at him. "Um, yes?"

He grinned wider when he saw that I was squirming.

"You think the way that I eat strawberries is sexy?"

I started biting my lip again, stalling. "No... no that'd be ridiculous!"

Sirius started laughing.

"What?" I asked, hoping that it was something to change the subject.

"Prongs, didn't you pick up that habit from me?"

_Oh Gods._

Alice, James, and Remus started laughing.

"James does it sexier!" I blurted out.

Oh. Gods.

If there were ever a time for the floor to open up and swallow me whole, it'd be now.

Please, Merlin?

Open the floor, come on.

Gods, what did I ever do to _you?_

Alice's jaw was on the floor and all laughter stopped.

I really know how to quiet down a room.

James stood there shocked and Sirius pounded a fist into the air.

"YES!" Sirius shouted.

We all looked at him.

"What?" James asked, partially shocked but mainly proud.

"I knew I'd be the cause of you two finally going at each other."

My face was as red as the Popsicle I ate once when I was seven. It was the reddest Popsicle that I'd ever eaten and it actually tasted like cherries but- Sorry.

"It's all in the work of the tongue," James said, winking at me.

About that floor opening up...

Alice started laughing.

"How about a demonstration," Sirius offered. I shot him a glare and went to run away.

But apparently Merlin is mean. Apparently he opened the floor just a bit and then closed it, causing my feet to be stuck inside.

Either that or I was just frozen solid when James walked over to me (ever so sexily) and planted the best kiss of my life right there. On _my _lips.

Oh Gods.

He pulled away and this time I felt like melting into a puddle on the floor.

"Oh, Gods," I said, turning redder still but feeling very good about it.

"What?" he asked.

"You _taste_ like them too?!"

He laughed.

"They are my favorite fruit."

"Unfortunately, I don't think I'll ever be able to eat another strawberry. Ever again."

"Why not?" James asked.

"I ate twenty-two strawberries to pull that off. No more. Ever."

**A/n: Okay guys, chapter three is here! Yay! Cheers! Rejoicing! Anyway, I originally wrote a different chapter three and posted it for, oh, about 3 minutes. You might have gotten the alert in your mailbox. Sorry about that. It was pretty bad. If any of you did manage to read it, erase if from your memory. This instant! Start erasing.**

**Thanks.**

**Anyway, this is the end unless someone can up with another chapter on something amusing that has to do with strawberries.**

**I'm still always looking for ideas.**

**26 down and 4 to go. Yeah.**

**Thanks for reading, and I love reviews!**

**Much love and your own James who tastes like strawberries,**

**Siriusly Klutzy**


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